The stupidity of 'Go Fetch' quests.

Well, Turbine proudly released a patch for May claiming gigantic content additions and something for everyone, naturally they were full of shit.  As per the norm, Turbines version of 'Content' is something that's been around since MUDs and has always sucked, The Go Fetch Quest.

What is a 'Go Fetch' Quest?
Pretty simple really, although there are several variations of them theme.

The basic quest goes like this:
'Go to spot x/Find spot x and get a quest to Find Item B'
Then there's the *advanced* basic quest:
'Go to spot x/Find spot x and get a quest to Find item B and back.' Variations of this include bringing the item somewhere else, or leads to the mega gigantic go-fetch quest

The mega gigantic go-fetch quest:
'Go to spot x/Find spot x and get a quest to Find item B, upon finding item B you realize that you need 200 of Item A to make item B be of any use at all.  You then recieve a quest to Find item A and return it to Either spot X or the location you found Item B - You may infact, return it to an entirely new location.

This provides several illusions for the player, the first of which is that this quest is actually something that's interesting and the second being that all this running around makes the event feel long.  It also appears to make the folks doing content feel like they've done something worth getting paid for.

*Newsflash: Any idiot can write content for an npc saying 'Go here and get the magical super item from long ago! Dragons! Undead!'.

It's time for someone to actually slap these people in the face, and explain to them what 'content' really is.  It's large interesting storylines that people don't have to wait a month for to see what progresses next.  It's interesting dynamics and discoveries that people can make, things that change their view on how the world acts.  The belief/discovery in AC1 that the Virindi controlled the lifestones is one such element, wether this was intended by Turbine or not - or even if this was true or not - what mattered was the way players felt upon making that discovery.

Guess what?  They didn't feel like you do when you find a mote, a pyreal, a glyph whateverthefuck.  Questing, lore, discovery and CONTENT is not a fucking npc telling you to go kill monsters until you find shitty item #122390834.

Turbine Project Managers?  You guys are paying the content team are you not?  I mean, this isn't just some 12 year old wannabe dungeon master is it ?  I'm hardly a roleplayer, or much of a quester but even *I* can come up with shit that's more interesting that the gofetch crap you've been pouring down your playerbases throat for the companies lifespan.  This shit is played out!

I want to talk to an NPC, hear and interesting tale of woe and have him say.
'Well shit, I mean... after this horrific loss I don't really think I have the time to tell you to go get some stupid item.  However, since my Wife, our two children and the family dog were just brutally murdered - why don't you get off your ass and go kill the bastards who did this?'
I don't need some item to make me want to help the guy, or not as my mood takes me.  That's roleplaying - Having the guy say 'Go kill Drudges for me and I'll give you a reward!' is not.  People aren't helping the guy because they want to, or because that's what their character would do.

Atleast fucking disguise the go fetch quests or something - show some effort kthx ?  I'd pay real money to see if you guys are going to do anything worthwhile with content, oh wait - I already am, and you're not.

-Kynn

I'm sure this is only Part 1 by the way, Turbine shows no indication of ever changing their idea of 'content' so I'm sure their will be a Part 2.

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